Day 57

Odometer  30,182 – 30,318 —–  136 Miles (7613 Miles Total)

Leon, Nicaragua – San Juan Del Sur, Nicaragua

This should be another good read. I want to go back to short write ups with nothing fun happening. I miss that quite a bit right now. So……

I got up quite early today somehow even after taking all those things to help me sleep. 2-7am. I got a free breakfast from the hostel which I was thrilled about. I worked on the blog to finish up last night’s story and then packed up my shit to head south. I wasn’t ready for another border crossing today so I talked to Yak and he said to head to San Juan Del Sur. It’s a lovely beach town in the southern part of Nicaragua with good surfing and local vibes. So I left Leon and headed there. 4 hours away is not too bad. The weather was lovely and the views were pretty nice too. I stopped for fuel and it’s pretty pricey here at nearly $5 a gallon. I stopped on the side of the road looking for a coconut to drink some fresh coconut water but all I found were watermelons so I cracked one open on the spot and ate half. Back on the road.

This is where it gets spicy. I’m riding on a two lane highway you can call it. I’m just minding my own business driving the speed limit in the left lane passing cars that are driving slow on the right. I look up ahead and there’s the transit officers that are able to give you tickets. Cops here aren’t allowed to do that. Every now and then they have cones up and they either make you stop or wave you on. This cunt told me to pull over. I was thinking about dodging the stop and just gunning it but eh fuck it ill pull over and see what this asshat wants. He starts yelling at me telling me I was driving dangerously. Oh yeah sure right. I asked him how. He is just yelling in Spanish. He asks me for my paperwork. I learned my lesson yesterday. No one sees my real papers anymore ever again unless it’s at a border. NO ONE. I pulled out a photocopy of my drivers license, passport and registration for my bike. I have about 20 of these. So I gave it to him and wrote down on my phone that my Drivers License got stolen two weeks ago and this is all I have. He was not happy.

I call Alex. this fucking poor guy. I call him once a day with some wild story. Actually I call him more than once a day lately with some wild bullshit I’m dealing with. This guy answered 40 phone calls of mine yesterday. I love him. Thank you Alex you are the man! I call Alex and the cop loses his shit like the cop from yesterday that wanted a bribe. I get it. I see what’s going on now. Alex talks to him and he tells him I’m riding illegally in the country without a real copy of my license. He tells Alex I have to get off my bike and walk with him. I look around and there’s nothing for miles. It’s me, him and this fat woman with a folder. I’m not getting off my bike. He points to my knife and asks me what it’s for. I tell him to cut someone if someone messes with me….and to eat watermelons which I pointed to the half cut watermelon in my pannier bag I opened up.

He starts getting angry with me telling me I have to follow him. No dude im not fucking going anywhere and there’s no where to go here. Alex is talking to him translating. I’m getting really pissed here real quick. He keeps saying he’s taking my bike. Over my dead body you can have my bike otherwise you’re not touching shit.

He starts to walk to his bike about 15 feet back and I said yeah i’ll be back there in a minute let me talk to my friend. I look around in my rear view mirrors. :insert evil face here:  I put my phone back on the phone mount on my handlebars, close up my backpack and throw it back over my shoulder. I keep an eye on the shitheads behind me. Good you guys good stay right by your bike, you corrupt pieces of shit. I slowly stand my bike up, quietly put up my kickstand, take my helmet and put it on my head real fast, hit the start button and dump the clutch. I’m out. Alex was on speaker while this was all going on. I got about 1/4 mile away doing 80-90mph and turned my bluetooth headset back on my helmet. Alex call finally transfers over to my headset and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?? I said to Alex “Im fucking running man, im running”! HAAHAHAH

He was cracking up, I was shaking and laughing at the same time. I look in my rear view and they’re not chasing me. I’ve run from cops in the states probably thousands of times in 18 years. It’s what I used to do for fun when I was a kid. Sorry mom! Anyway me and Alex are cracking up, I’m pumped with adrenaline. But I haven’t done this too much in another country. Are they going to radio ahead? There’s only one main road in the country and I have another 45 minutes left until I can turn off since there’s no other roads. Shit. I hope they didn’t call ahead. I’ll deal with it when I get there. Alex called me back and we were trying to plan about what to do if that happens. Whatever, I don’t care anymore. These pricks are corrupt and I’m getting the hang of their game. I’m the wrong guy to pick on for this bullshit. I’m not stopping at any more checkpoints than the last one.

A few miles ahead I’m riding and a monkey is chillin in the road. A monkey. I can’t believe my eyes. I almost hit him and called Alex. He’s cracking up about the monkey. HAHA. Anyway I ride up for about another hour and get to my turnoff to head to the beach. Yak told me to take another road to the beach that he took on his trip which had more dirt than the other entrance. So I hopped on it and it was a nice 15 miles of hard packed dirt in a thick jungle heading to the water. I got to my hostel and I did really well picking this place. It’s right near the beach with two pools, a huge hangout area, all clean grass, and a delicious restaurant with smoothies as well. The wifi is mind blowing with the speed, there’s no dirt anywhere. God damn I wanna stay here for a month! I pretty much laid around here from 1pm on swimming, catching up on phone calls, blogging, figuring out the bullshit to enter Costa Rica in a few days so I don’t get jammed up like I did yesterday.

I got some food at the hostel, swam for a bit, made some phone calls and had a few smoothies. I took my bike out to the town to see the beach and walk around a bit. I also took a ride up the side of the town where there’s a huge Jesus statue to watch the sunset and met a guy who is a local here that will be riding a motorcycle from Nicaragua to Canada and then shipping it back form Miami. I got back to my hostel after sunset and had some more food. I got myself a nice 90 minute massage which wasn’t the best but I needed to treat myself after yesterday’s bullshit. I made some more phone calls, and my friend Jimmy got a bunch of stuff together finally that I ordered at his place a few weeks ago when all my tools were stolen from me. He brought them over to a friend’s place in Manhattan and he will be seeing my friend Nick. Nick is going to Bogota on December 28th to see his girlfriend and that’s where my bike is getting shipped January 5th so it’s all working out perfectly.

I crawled into bed and watched a movie and a half and passed out. I’m getting anxious about leaving this country in two days.