Day 56

Odometer 29,820 – 30,182  —–  362 Miles (7477 Miles Total)

El Zonte, El Salvador – Leon, Nicaragua

So I had a decent night of sleep  in my outdoor whatever you call it, that I slept in last night. It rained hard for a bit last night, which was pretty nice. We stayed nice and dry. I got up a little after sunrise and loaded up the bike as fast as I could, took a few pictures and hit the road. I had a 8 hour ride ahead of me today with two border crossings which should take about 90 minutes each so I was cutting it close to Nicaragua at sunset.

I had a pretty nice ride all the way to the El Sal/Honduras border. It was about 95 degrees most of the ride but I was ok since I kept pouring water down my shirt. I pulled over for fuel and Papusas at a little roadside joint and it was the best food I’ve had in a few nights and the cheapest! I got back on the road and stopped at the first border crossing which I heard was hell from Yak. Luckily I got through in about an hour which I couldn’t believe. It went so smoothly.

5 Minutes after I left the border there were 3 cops with guns as usual and they told me to pull over. I pull over and he doesn’t speak any English but from what I understand I was riding dangerously and I have to pay a fine. Assholes…here we go. Before he mentioned the fine he asked for my drivers license and  my title of the bike. I fucked up giving him my drivers license but I gave him a fake photocopy of my title. He then tells me I owe him $100 for a fine. I kinda lose my shit on him. He pulls his phone out and writes down an address of a bank for me to go get $100 for him. I tell him no. I call my friend up to translate for me and he flips out on me. He keeps screaming to hang out and is clearly pissed. After about two minutes of me not listening I hung up on Alex.

I sat there kept saying no no no. I pulled out $20 and their faces all lit up. I said ill give you some more but give me my license back first with hand gestures. I pointed to my top box and said there was more money in there. Now from my old days of being a shithead I always have an extra set of keys handy in case the cops take my first set of keys. I didn’t turn my bike off to be ready for anything. He gives me back my license and I close up my backpack and fumble it behind my back. I take the $20 put it on my palm and crunch it behind my left grip on the handlebar, throw my bike in first gear and dump the clutch. Fuck these guys , im running. I doubt they will shoot me and they don’t have a car there. I took my chances.

I rode for 2 hours and didn’t get pulled over. I wish I could see the look on those assholes faces but I didn’t want to look back to see if they were pulling their guns out. Next time I’m not giving anyone my real drivers license or anything i’ll just say it got stolen. That was a close call. I had two hours to get to the Nicaraguan border from that situation so I was booking it there.

The border had maybe 2 miles of trucks just backed up and there were cars and motorcycles driving on the wrong side of the highway to get past all of them. Glad we all think alike.I made it to the Nicaraguan crossing and the paperwork was easy at the exit of Honduras except it was 97 degrees and we were inside with a bunch of people and no ventilation. I also got stung by a bee on the ride there. I was covered in sweat wearing jeans waiting. I also passed a jeep with Canadian plates getting to the customs building and as I was waiting in line I heard a guy yell out Marko!

I couldn’t believe it! I was chatting with a guy named Tom from Canada who is driving a truck down to Argentina so we can ship our vehicles together in a container. We haven’t met up yet but he recognized me from the picture of my profile on WhatsApp. We chatted for a bit waiting in line and then I split off to get to the Nicaragua side. I rode on a sidewalk past all the traffic to get there and once I stopped I realized I couldn’t get into the country with my drone. I turned around to hide it in my motorcycle jacket since I figured they wouldn’t check it for a drone. I got back to the crossing and pulled out all my paperwork. It was 2:45 PM and i’m doing great with time. Then it all went to shit.

The agent asked me for my covid test. WHAT COVID TEST. I gave him my Vax card but he didnt care. He told me the closest testing center was an hour back into Honduras. FUCK

I went over to Tom and they gave me some info on where to go. They didn’t get tested when they sent me because they went elsewhere. I typed in the address on google and hit the road. My night is fucjked at this point I figured. I can’t find anywhere to sleep in Choluteca which is why I made the mad dash to Nicaragua. They also told me I had to fill some forms out online which I was trying to do on my ride to Choluteca. I got to the address where google maps said to go and of course i’m in the outskirts of the city on a dirt road with no hospital anywhere. I called Tom and he gave me another address to a clinic which was luckily about 3 minutes away. I ran inside, gave the guy my passport and paid $97 USD for the rapid test. They told me it would take 2 hours for the results. Ugh.

This means I won’t be getting to Managua till about 11pm and I havent eaten any real food all day long other than the small breakfast. So I decided to rearrange my backpack and all my money, send a few people some messages and catch up on the blog. I’m sitting here right now waiting for the results to come back and it’s 4:25PM. I’ve been here maybe an hour now. I have an hour till sunset. I’ll probably ride to the border at dark, deal with that bullshit for an hour in the dark and then I have a 3 hour ride to Managua. Tom invited me to their campsite tonight which I might just take him up on. Everything happens for a reason. I’m glad Tom was able to hook me up with this clinic I’m at right now and offer me a place with them tonight.

There are 5 of them traveling in the Jeep from Canada to Argentina. The jeep is pretty cool. I wish I took some pics of it but we were in a mad dash at the crossing and now here I am. Time to put the laptop away and see if there’s anywhere I can get food with a credit card since I don’t have any Honduran money.

Well it’s the next morning and I figured I would come to relive this nightmare of a night. I’m going to start with one of the worst nights of my entire life. I got my Covid test back and realized I needed to make three copies of the test. But everything was nearly closing here and there isn’t much here anyway. I found a small shop that printed things and when I went to photocopy it the copier broke. Just my luck. It was dark and I was freaking out about riding to my hostel at night so I said I’ll figure it out at the border. As i’m pulling up to the border I realized I left the test in the copier an hour back. Luckily I take a picture of every piece of paper I get on this trip in case it gets stolen or lost.

I pulled up to the border crossing at 6:30 and headed over to the covid lady. I put my friend Alex on the phone with her to explain the situation and show her a picture of the results. She didn’t like it. After he talked to her for 10 minutes she said ok she will take the copyn from my phone. But I also will need a receipt showing that I paid for the PCR test. Are you fucking kidding me? I pulled out my credit card statement showing her the $97 bill from laboratory clinics. She didn’t care. I’m about to lose my shit now. As I go outside to take a few breaths a guy comes up to me and says slip her a $40 and she will take the photocopy and no receipt. Oh I see what’s going on here. Great. Not only did I pay $97 for a test, now I have to pay her $40 because she wants to see a receipt which she knows no one keeps. Bitch. I just needed to print two color copies of the test. 30 minutes later I came back with one after paying some people off at the Honduras border to make me two copies.

So now that’s all done. Next. Her partner has to see a document I filled out online. Great here you go man. I showed him the email receipt of the form I filled out. There was no option to print anything. They just emailed me two important numbers I had to show the border agents. This guy is saying I have to have a photocopy of that too but this document does not exist. Here’s the bullshit where they ask you for things that don’t exist. Its late, hot, im fucking tired and im pissed. So Alex talks to this guy for ten minutes and if I pay him $40 I get to pass through. Of course. Asshole

Oh but wait there’s more! After I pay him off there’s another guy at the other side of the border here that wants to see the same form printed out and if it’s not printed out I can’t get through. BUT! This guy knows him so he’s going to take another $40 from me to give him later since I can’t give it to his buddy because there’s cameras over there. He takes a picture of my passport and sends it to his buddy that will be waiting for me overthere. He knows who I am now. Yeah fucking right. Some guy gives me a piece of paper and points in a direction. Now there was a line of 18 Wheelers miles and miles long pulling into the crossing so the whole place is covered with them to the point where I don’t even have room to pass next to them on my bike. So I started jumping curbs and riding on grass and mud to go looking for it. 20 Minutes later I end up at the customs building just as the power goes out to the whole compound. Now I wait 30 minutes in a line of 30 people with nothing happening. To top it off it starts to rain down outside and it’s 85 degrees out still. 100% humidity probably. Im covered in sweat.Finally i get to the window an hour later and the woman is pissed. She brings me over to the other side.

A guy comes out and asks me a few questions. He wants to see this form. I show him the email and he is pissed. Says I need a hard copy. Fuck you too. I explained to him for ten minutes what my process was filling it out and I got an email and that’s that there’s nothing else. He takes my passport and disappears for 30 minutes. I’m starting to lose all my patience. I’m not getting out of here for a while at this rate and I really don’t want to ride in the rain at midnight to my hostel. I’ve been up since 6AM.

The man comes back out. Sits down in front of me at the booth and says “Paracaidismo”. It means skydiving in spanish. I gave him a very funny look that just said how the hell do you know I skydive. I didn’t say a word and I couldn’t believe the next words that came out of his mouth. “World Trade Center”. Fuck

How the hell did they find that out and is this why they disappeared for 30 minutes. He asked me a bunch of questions and I was praying they wouldn’t deny my entry because of those shenanigans. He disappeared for another 90 minutes maybe. It’s 9:30 at this point. He comes back with all the paperwork. I’m all set. I just have to go to customs now to get my bike paperwork filled out. I go to customs and she looks at the papers and starts yelling and pointing to get my bike inspected. I pull my bike around and this bich is locking the door since her night is over. She pulled this bullshit on me to not have to get me through so she can go home a few minutes early. I call Alex back up and he talks to another guy who barely wants to talk to him and I get linked up with a guy who speaks a tiny bit of english. I followed him to the next booth. We walk up, I put my motorcycle helmet down on the ground to get my paperwork out and this guy gets up out of his chair and does the same shit the last woman just did. He starts grabbing all his shit, turns the lights off, locks the door and starts to walk out to go home. My new friend chases him down yelling. We went to another booth. We wait for 30 minutes and this guy says we need to pay him off. You gotta be kidding me. We pay him about $20.

Now all we need is to go wait at our cars and bikes for a guy to come out and inspect the luggage we have, he will give us a stamp and we will get to leave. We go to our bike and car and theres a woman who just did an inspection but shes pretty much like yeah fuck off im going home to. She walks off into the darkness and is gone. My dude is pissed. We waited for an hour. It’s now 10:30. We keep waiting. 11pm. My dude walks off with my paperwork and comes back in a bit saying he’s all good to go and I owe him $10 for paying another guy off which I believed. He was with a woman and she has a daughter in LAW and we chatted on the phone for a bit. They were all trying to help me.  Buttttttttttt. But I had to go back to the booth we were just at and get one more stamp. He said he will wait for me to get back to protect my bike. Lovely!

I go to the booth and people keep skipping in front of me and trucks are pulling up. Finally he takes my papers and starts my stuff. I’m texting the guy’s daughter who just helped me saying I’m almost done. And then my luck starts. The guy was uploading pictures of my info with a scanner and now the scanner broke. FUCK

A huge border crossing with one scanner. About 30 minutes later he fixes it, stamps my paper and says I’m good. I don’t know if i should pull my knife out and stab this guy or i should give him a hug. I ran full speed back to my bike since my friends were there waiting an extra 45 minutes or so for me. I get there relieved. I say thank you 100 times and go to my bike to leave. My motorcycle helmet is gone. NOOOOOOOO

I searched the whole building and thought I may have left it at the first booth we went to. I ran around in jeans in the rain and 80 degree heat and humidity  for 10 minutes scouring the place for my helmet. No luck. I want to cry. I just lost $1000 and I’m two hours from a close city where I might even be able to buy one and it’s midnight. 10 minutes later the girl calls me and says her mom found the helmet. I left it at the booth and one of the few honest people at this border crossing saw my helmet and gave it to some women to hold onto. I almost started to cry when she gave me my helmet back. I got so stressed out dealing with this border for ten hours I can’t think straight anymore. And now I have to ride two hours in the dark rain.

Lessons learned. No more border crossings after 1pm. Make sure I have all the right papers above and beyond what I can do for it. And just don’t get caught up being there late. I get on my bike covered in sweat and start my ride. I didn’t even put my jacket on. I rode into the night and stopped for fuel real quick. There were storms everywhere with a light drizzle hitting me. I couldn’t close my visor because it was filthy. Seeing the mountains lighting up surrounding me with a lightning strike every 30 seconds was absolutely beautiful. I put my music on and this is my time to shine. Whenever people are up for a long amount of time and exhausted, that’s where I come through to pull my friends through. But i’m alone and all i have to do is ride 2 hours after being awake for a while. I got super pumped up. I made it. Two more border crossings to go until I get to Panama. I’m getting so close. I had a nice ride and halfway there I turned down a road and its dirt. Fuck you too Gooogle.

It’s 12:30ish and I’m riding this shit dirt road with tons of sharp rocks everywhere. If I get a flat here I’m going to be miserable. I was just waiting for it. I was on this dirt road for about 7 miles. halfway down the dirt road I see two kids walking and they put up 4 middle fingers. Well shit they’re pretty friendly. I really hope I don’t break down here.

I get out of the dirt road and back on a paved road. It’s raining a bit more now but it was paved and i didnt care. I made it to my hostel at 12:50. I shaved 35 minutes off my 2 hour ride I think. The hostel is waiting for me and they let me pull my bike inside. I was begging for food but they had none. I boiled some water in their kitchen and heated up and MRE I have for emergencies. I think this qualifies as one. I made a Mexican rice, chicken and bean MRE and I couldn’t believe it but it was delicious. I ate my food and drank a bunch of water. I took a weed edible, half a xanax and I was off to bed. I keep certain drugs with me for the trip. Percocet or Oxy in case I get into an accident in the middle of nowhere and have to walk on a broken leg for help or to ease my comfort while waiting for rescue. I carry maybe 20 Xanax to help calm my anxiety down if I get into a really really stressful situation. And a ton of weed edibles to help me sleep after a night like this. I was out cold even though it was 77 Degrees and I was indoors with only a fan.